Last Week

This is the last Sunday night for me here at Kaleo. Wow, can't believe it. Such a ride it has been. These last few weeks have been packed full of memories and crazy stories. It seems like God has indeed been building up his grand finale for us here at Kaleo. I cannot break down these past couple of weeks by day, there is simply too much to write about. Here are the highlights.

God has answered so many prayers recently. I do believe that my faith has increased greatly as I have seen how God answers our prayers. I prayed for one of my friends to come into a room so that a much needed conversation could take place and sure enough, he came in within seconds, and a deeper level of friendship was reached. Kaleo had been praying for Kaitlyn, the sister of my good friend Nate for a long time now, as she has cancer. Many weeks ago I wrote on here, that there is a story that is not finished. Recently, we have seen another part of this story. Her cancer (said to be incurable by doctors and specialists) shrunk from the size of a golf ball to a marble! A man we met in our homeless ministry, Darryl was having hard times (that's all that he would tell us) and after a time in prayer for him around a fire, the next week we come back and the first thing that he says is, "It's happened." God completely lifted him out of his valley and his heart is full of thanks. I love this! I love seeing God work and it gives me so much hope and expectation for more of God's movement and providence.

Our last class, Christian worldview really opened my eyes to see that I do not have to think the same way that the world does. In fact, I shouldn't. While I understood that I must not conform to any pattern that the world is trying to force me into, I realized this week that in every aspect of life, my mind needs to be shaped in light of the gospel. I am still learning what this looks like, but I am starting to see life in a new light. Continue to pray for new vision, a vision that matches that of Christ Jesus.

Easter was a huge time for me. Good Friday was an incredible storm. Hurricane winds and rain coming down endlessly. Seemed like pathetic fallacy to me. I trekked out up a nearby hill carrying a cross, hoping simply to be moved by the day. I understood the significance but I simply wanted to feel it. The Lord invited me into the pain that took place many years ago as I found myself weeping on top of the mountain, clinging to the cross. I have never cried so hard in such a long time. I am thankful for that day, as it only made Sunday more joyous. Early on Sunday morning, four of us hiked back up that same mountain I had gone on Friday and read the easter narrative, worshiped and belted out prayers of celebration and thanksgiving. Down the mountain, I truly felt like a disciple, since we were sprinting down this mountain shouting that "He is risen!" and "Jesus lives!" It was such a change of mood from the somber march up the mountain.

We have been having a lot of fun these past few days too. Bunny catching at UVIC, hitch-hiking and longboarding on Saltspring Island, late night Star Wars movie nights at Jim's house, white water kayaking, and bonfires down on the beach.

Last night, my room, 211, went out for dinner for our final hangout time. It was a sweet time of laughs, encouragements and challenges for one another. I have really been blessed by God by these guys that I have been living with. At first, it seemed like we were the most random collection of individuals, and who knows, we may be. But at the end of this year, I know that I will deeply miss them, since they are my brothers. This is true for everyone here I have come to realize. We are a family and it will be hard to go our separate ways.

I have really been blessed by the homeless ministry that I have been part of this year. I have come to a new understanding about what it means to be committed to bring about change. Change takes a long time, and it takes a long time to see the fruit of what God has done. I know for a fact however, that God is working in Duncan and in the native communities. I am leaving Duncan with great hopes for what God will do. I know that this ministry has sparked something deep within me, that will continue long after this place. I have a heart to see the broken, oppressed and neglected be restored. Thank the Lord for the invitation to be part of his work in this way.

It was a sad, but satisfying feeling to say goodbye to my youth group and Church. It was sad since I have really grown to love the people in both places, and have established some great friendships. Not only that, but I have grown as a result of both, and have enjoyed being part of a new community of believers. It is satisfying though knowing that we have run the race well and are finishing strong, with no regrets or disappointments. It is satisfying because there are many ways that I have been encouraged about a revival in our churches through what I have seen at New Life. I am thankful that God has placed me in the church that he did this year.

This week is a week about tying up all the strings. Putting a close on this incredible journey is now my focus; pray that I will do this well. Pray that friendships will be filled with encouragement and thanksgiving. Please pray for this next week, as we will simply be spending time with one another. That's it. No agenda, just soaking up every minute that we have with each other. Thank you all for your faithful and effective prayers.

I'm sure that there will be more posts to come.

Week Twenty

I am writing this post on my bed at the end of a very full week. It is incredible to see how fast time has gone this year! There is only three weeks left of K7! What a blessing this has been, and what a ride. This has been a great week, filled with a trip, random events, service and homework. Pretty classic Kaleo if you ask me. I'll break it down a bit for you.

Monday was the day our gospels assignment was due. I was proud and ready to hand in my Cost of Discipleship paper, but needed a way to unwind after a long assignment. So, we rented the rink and played some hockey. Followed later that night by a dodgeball/basketball night then to loose all of what we gained through extensive exercise that day, we made apple pies and ate them over at Kristie's house. Good times! Tuesday to Thursday was our second surf trip in Tofino. Once again we experienced the hospitality of the church in Ucluelet. Like our last surf trip, I would say that the best part of this trip was the chapels each night. I am learning so much about community this year, and about fellowship as believers. Community must be inclusive. That is what our community was like this week. Each night, we had locals come and join us for our worship times. We met an amazing family called the Livingstones and then another night a youth group came up from Tofino to join us. It's so cool that as believers, we have a common bond already, and we are indeed brothers and sisters. I feel that fellowship with other believers is something done not as often as it should. I greatly respect Jim for arranging this, as it has shown me that wherever we go, like Paul in Acts 18:10, there many people in this city that belong to the Lord. This will be something that I will take with me out of Kaleo, striving for greater fellowship with believers. The surfing was cool too, I love the super chill west coast feel that I could live in, even for just three days. It is something that I can picture myself in somewhere in the future.

On Friday, we had representatives from Briercrest come here and give us interviews about next year. Though that was their main purpose, they also wanted to come out and just check out what was going on at Kaleo. Like a guy named Cal who came with us on our surf trip, these people hear about Kaleo, and see the fruits of it and are intrigued with this program, they want to see what it's all about. To be honest, it kinda reminded me of the Olympics where people had heard all about us before even meeting us. This encouraged me, and I couldn't help but think about the truths of developing a good name for yourself, and that will take you very far. Kaleo has definitely earned a good name over all these years, and it's cool to see that people recognize that. It makes me even more thankful that I could be part of this. Anyways, these interviews sorted out who is going to Briercrest next year and who isn't. I still don't know which category I am in. I am so utterly clueless about next year, and much time and thought has been spent in this decision. This leads me to my next line of thought, trust. One morning, feeling particularly lost about my next year decision, I was reading through some Psalms about trusting in God. I found myself even questioning that God would indeed tell me my direction and when he would, it would be too late. This lead me to read Job 38-41 where the Lord questions Job and says things like, "Were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth?" and "Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of the Pleiades?" I realize then that the one who holds all of the universe in existence, and loves to do so, will not forget me and my future. It's funny that I would even doubt that the one who puts boundaries on the ocean cannot reveal his will for me in time. This gave me a renewed sense of trust and I will wait for him to lead me ahead. Its so funny too, because on Sunday morning before church, I spent some time writing down in depth all these thoughts and Isaiah 50:11 stood out to me. It says, "Watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires. This is the reward you will receive from me: You will soon fall down in great torment." Later on Sunday night at the homeless ministry, I had an incredible conversation with a lady named Vicki, and she offered her whole life story to me. So much pain, so much hurt and so many troubles. Trust in God came up and all of my thoughts that I wrote down that morning, were pretty much my exact words to all of her questions. It was so weird, but amazing. I was so ready for that conversation. It seems as though God may have been preparing me that morning for that conversation. At the end of the day though, she said that she would rather trust herself and pay the consequences than take a risk "like scratching a lottery ticket" and trust God and reap the rewards. Pray for her please.

Going to youth on Friday was strange. I have been away for so long. Every weekend I am unable to go as we are either away or I have to work here at camp. Therefore, it was hard to be back there. Normally I find it very easy to be with the kids and conversation comes easily. This was not the case. It took all that was within me to start and keep a conversation going, and I found that the kids and I were not naturally drawn to each other. That was hard, but I realize the importance of being consistent in ministry now, especially with youth. I wish that our youth group went deeper with these kids. I find that the teaching is so watered down and so....weak. There is not much teaching in the youth group, and therefore, when there is teaching, it should be bold and powerful. I can tell that these kids are hungry for it, and I feel a bit frustrated because feel that youth group does not feed them like it should.

This week is our Christian Worldview class, and it is our last class. It should be good. I am really excited to learn. I am excited for these next few weeks as well. Continue to pray that I would be sprinting this last stage of the race. This is my training for the world, and I want to be strengthened and challenged and stretched as much as possible before I leave this place. Pray that God would be bringing to mind the things he has been teaching me and showing me. This is technically the end of my blog assignment, however I have found these posts to help me understand all that I have taken in each week, and will be a great reminder to me in years to come of what each week looked like, so most likely I will continue these posts.

Most of all, pray that God would be building up his grand finale for Kaleo 7. I'm looking forward to seeing what that is like.

Week Nineteen

This week has been a good week of consolidation for me. Throughout this week, has been one that has been filled with thoughts about the cost of discipleship. On Monday, we wrote our gospels exam, and as stressful as it was, it was a joy to write. Much time was spent in preparation for the exam and the lessons that I learned during the class were very much sealed in my studying. A major thing that I have learned through the gospels class is the idea of obedience, as this is a huge theme in Matthew. I am so used and comfortable with the idea that faith is all that is needed for salvation, while good works are further conformation of this faith. Something that I have learned in Matthew is the importance of our works. This in no was diminishes the importance of faith and the grace that God has given to us, but we will be judged based on our deeds, as stated numerous times throughout the New Testament. This is a new reality for me. Reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, The Cost of Discipleship, has shed some more light on this for me, that only those who are obedient believe, and only those who believe are obedient. Something else that I have been learning in Matthew and that Bonhoeffer echos is that suffering is the way of discipleship. That is only natural if we are following Jesus. I do not want to suffer, but I welcome it at the same time, since it is my badge of discipleship, it shows that I am sharing in the life of Christ. This week has been a week where I have been constantly surrendering to God. I have found myself many times praying and telling him to take every part of me. I am still not too sure what this looks like, however maybe surrender is simpler that what I imagine it to be. I feel that God will be continuing to show me more and more things to surrender, however I just want to get rid of everything now. Surely this is possible, to put an end to absolutely everything that is holding me back from following Jesus and being obedient. One of my friends here was talking about this and he said that Jesus grew in wisdom and favour with God and men, and this thought excites me and gives me hope that I too will be growing in wisdom and favour with God and men. This life of surrender will evolve, I want it all right now, but I feel that as time goes on, I will be living more and more of my life fully surrendered to God.

Apart from studying and writing papers, this week was a lot of fun. We had another Ditch the Girls night, and was spent running around camp doing tasks kinda like the amazing race, eating massive slabs of steak, jumping over couches into piles of mattresses, building forts, eating ice cream, massive game of contact sardines in the dark, a great chapel in the “tabernacle” or our fort, all topped off with a couple hours at an indoor rock climbing gym. It was a great time. The chapel was great because it forced us to focus on how to run this last part of the race well. Full of admonishment, I felt challenged and convicted on my speech, and came away feeling the need to surrender my mouth to God and to only speak and think upon things that are true, right, good, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. So far, it has been pretty good. The next day we all went up to Mount Washington for another day of snowboarding. Such a fun time and was really glad that I went. This past weekend, although I could not go to youth group or church, was a great serving weekend. There was six of us working in dishpit and we had a blast! I have never had more fun doing dishes. I did miss going to youth though, I feel like I have not gone in a long time, and of course I missed going to church and to someone’s house afterward for lunch.

This week I have had some great times alone with God. I have been brought to tears with powerful worship songs sitting on massive pieces of driftwood, and have also felt completely empty of his spirit and just needed to go and walk out in low-tide and express my frustration to him. He is merciful though. And as I have also experienced this week, his mercies are new every morning. Yesterday as I was sitting in the woods, needing to be filled and be fed, his word revealed to me what I must do to finish this race well, as I was struggling with doing this I felt. Taken right from 1 Corinthians 9, Hebrews 12 and Isaiah 40 I came up with this list:

-run with purpose in every step

-throw off the sin that weighs down and entangles

-keep my eyes fixed on Jesus

-run with perseverance

-give up what is entitled to me that will not help me to live out the gospel

-take a new grip

-wait for the Lord to renew our strength.

Please pray that I would be running this last stage of my Kaleo race well through all those ways on the list. I pray that God would be working up in us his grand finale, that the rest of the year would pale in comparison to the things that he would show us and teach us and do for us in these next four weeks. This has been quite a journey, thank you all for sharing in it with me. I will leave you with a verse that has given me encouragement to run this race well, right to the end.

So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong - Hebrews 12:12-13

Week Eighteen Pictures

Mystic Beach

Beach Soccer

Huge boulder

Week Eighteen

This past week was our gospels class. This has been hands down the best class that I have ever taken. Led by Dr. Wes Olmstead, we dove headfirst into the book of Matthew and ripped it to shreds...not literally. I truly have never dug deeper into a book in the bible than what we did this week. Reading Matthew with new eyes now has such a richness to it that I have never had before as I read the bible. I am definitely so thankful for the solid teaching that I experienced this week.

There are so many things that I have taken from this class and from listening to the knowledge of a scholar. To be honest, I am still digesting all that I have taken in. It's a lot! Matthew has really challenged me by my need for righteousness greater than that of the Pharisees, pure on the inside and the outside. Forgiveness is another large theme in Matthew that I am still chewing on to follow this digestive analogy.

To be honest, other than class for seven hours each day, there is not too much to report on. Apart from the many lessons learned in class, the greatest part of each day would be the mornings. Every morning, Justin and I and James would spend some quality time getting our daily bread, times of listening, prayer, worship and encouragement. I don't think I realize how much this truth in the mornings sustains me. The past two days I did not take any time to read my bible since I was studying it in school, and I have already noticed my own life peeking through and taking hold of me again. I need to get connected with the vine again.

This must be the shortest blog that I have ever written! It seems as though right now I am filled with many thoughts but very few words.

I will look forward to sharing with you more of what I have been digesting next week.

Week Seventeen

It has been a while since I have last been on this blog. Reason being, is that we were away in Vancouver volunteering at the Olympics (well at Whistler) for three weeks. I first off need to share with you all about that experience.

Well, praise God for what he is doing. Praise him for where he is at work. Going into the Olympics, no one knew what we were getting ourselves into, as we had nothing to compare it too. I even have a hard time writing this, as I am not too sure where to start. I (along with about 20 others) was working at the Whistler Olympic Park, home of ski jumping, cross country skiing and biathlon. While it was incredible being part of the Olympic hype, talking to people all over the world and watching very talented athletes compete in these games, that was not our purpose. As you know, we were there to be God's ambassadors. I originally thought that our first "objective" or "mission" was with the spectators. While there were some occasions where good conversation occurred with the spectators, God put us with the workforce, and that was primarily who we would speak to, work beside, walk with and eat with. I don't know how I can even begin to unpack with you all the things that happened over the Olympics, but bear with me as I try with very unorganized thoughts.

On the first day, I assumed that this would be a very individual missions trip. I thought that "success", however that was measured, would consist on how much effort I put in, and what I did. Well, that attitude only lasted a day. At our first debrief, I realized how crucial it was that there was a group of us there. We got to work with many similar people each day, be it other volunteers or our group leaders that we would work for. We would be moved around each day and as a result got to meet many new people. Kaleo was known there! It seemed like wherever we would go and whoever we would speak to, they would say, "You're one of the Kaleo kids!", even before we would introduce ourselves. I saw firsthand what it looks like to do missions as a church. We were the church there. As opposed to my first day working there, we really relied on each other. We would start the day with prayer, share verses of encouragement and admonishment on the bus rides up, pray for each other when we would see each other (and even when we wouldn't) sometimes even work together. The best part of doing this trip with a group was that where one person would leave off, another would come in and continue our work. Volunteers and staff got to work and meet and talk to practically each member of our group. It was also cool to see all the different parts of one body working together for one common goal with all of our unique gifts. I definitely saw that on this trip, that people could see and experience many different Christians with different personalities and qualities, but all with the same joy and hope. The core of who we all are is the exact same.

Kaleo had a presence there. We asked that the Spirit would be seen in us, that it would leak out of us. Numerous times that had been affirmed. Some said that there was something different about us, some asked us what set us apart, some told us that we just had this spirit about us. All the team leaders loved us, and wanted to work with us every day. One of them, I don't think he was a believer, told us that we were being excellent ambassadors and missionaries. I love that he was able to see us a representatives of someone greater. The key here is that it was us as a group and not us as individuals. Many great relationships were established between other volunteers and us as well. Although we kinda had an agenda, as this was our missions trip, we were there to simply love others for who they were, and to share with them the love of Jesus through our own lives.

You may ask what we accomplished. To be honest, I don't know. Jim said that we were doing the hard part. We were planting seeds, and we trust that someone else out there will be reap what we have sown. But was at work though, there is no doubt about that. I believe that God put us there for many reasons. We were there to sow seeds. Being around people all day, there were endless opportunities, and I do not even know how much we affected others through our conversations and actions, though this had been affirmed and acknowledged multiple times. Jim also said that a reason we were there was to present Christians in a new light. In our conversations, a lot of people had pretty bad views on Christianity and the church, however they seemed to love us, and noticed something different in us that was attractive. Another reason I believe that we were there was to offer truth to people. Multiple times, the gospel was spoken to people, verses of Scripture was spoken to individuals, I had the chance to give a bible away, and questions were answered by people interested in the Christianity that we lived.

On behalf of all of us here at Kaleo, I thank you for your prayers. I had such peace knowing that hundreds of people were praying for us all around the world. God was at work here. He is the God of the Olympics in Vancouver, BC, and the God of the universe. I remember some lyrics that said, "Greater things have yet to come and greater things have still to be done in the city." God did incredible things, and we were simply people that he invited in on what he was already doing. Thanks for partnering with us in prayer.

This past week was reading week. A week of a lot of homework, along with some good times. One night, five of us went out, bought some steak, goat cheese, peppers and made some bannac (a bread dough) then went out hiking at night, made a fire on some rocks above the ocean and ate gourmet steak and melted cheese and bread with grilled peppers under the stars one night, then continued our hike and went out to the point and slept under the starts in our sleeping bags. It was a great time, real lighthearted and enjoyed spending time with good friends, unwinding after a pretty spiritual draining three weeks at the olympics. The next day we went to Mystic Beach, a real west coast beach with huge boulders and massive pieces of driftwood and cliffs. It was a great break and was so incredibly beautiful. I love seeing the beauty of creation in this place.

It was good to get back to church this past week. God is moving and bringing about revival I sense in New Life. Mark is really challenging the congregation to go to places that they've never been to before and is trying very hard to be walking in the fullness of the Holy Spirit in all that they do. I enjoyed going to a First Nations worship night at New Life on Sunday, seeing and hearing native worshippers who love the Lord. They are working towards reconciliation and restoration between First Nations and white relations.

This week we are in our Gospels class. It is incredible so far. I get to study Jesus! Pray that this class will profoundly affect me and my own relationship with Jesus.

Time is flying! Hard to believe that I only have about a month and a half left here. Pray that I would have the ears to hear what God is trying to speak to me in this last stage of Kaleo.

Thanks again. I'm looking forward to tell you all about Gospels.

Week Sixteen

Greetings. I am writing this the day before we depart for the Olympics! There is still a lot to be done, like packing, final school work etc. I feel as though there is a spirit of excitement, hesitation, fear and hopefulness shared by everyone. Please be praying for us. This is an incredible opportunity, pray that God would use us in big ways. So we leave early tomorrow morning, to catch the dress rehearsal of the opening ceremonies and then we have training on Thursday then our first shift on Friday! Wow, I am excited and nervous just writing this.

Moving back though, this past week was a week of class with the one and only Jim Paulson, aka the most quotable prof of K7. To fully grasp this, please check out kaleoseven.blogspot.com and read some of his memorable lines. The class was Introduction to Theology. The word theology used to make me cringe. I saw it, and must confess to still somewhat struggle with the need for it and I saw it as old men taking the life out of a relationship with God. Pretty tough preconceptions to go into a course with and still trying to have an open mind eh? The way that I see theology at the end of the week is "faith seeking understanding". We have the faith, and the relationship with the Lord, however, like Colossians 3:10 says, "put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him" That is very much what I want through this course. I want to know my Creator better through studying doctrines and exploring large questions, but as a result, I want to become more like my Creator through the knowledge that I have gained. I feel that through this course, I have a larger desire to spend more time in God's word as it is our primary authority and it is completely true in all that it says. Sure there are some things about theology that I struggle with like the whole Calvinism/Arminianism question and all that covers. I have no stance on the matter. I believe that I can live as a Christian and follower of Jesus without declaring my position on the spectrum. I am thankful that as I reflect on this past week academically, I am not cringing at the thought of Theology but rather I am welcoming more opportunities to learn more about my Creator and become like him.

On Tuesday, we had chapel and like we normally do in chapel, people share their testimonies. I felt like I needed to share mine. So I shared, mostly talking about the life changing summer I had doing CIT and the years that followed that, especially concerning the area of boldness. It was strange, I have always had trouble with putting into words my testimony, so I feel like I left out large areas of my life that maybe I should have talked about and kinda felt that I didn't do my life justice however I just spoke, and it wasn't anything that I would come up with if I prepared it ahead of time. I pray that it would resonate with people, challenge people and encourage them. To be honest, I don't know what the effect was on people. It was kinda strange. I am glad that I did share, and people encouraged me with words after, but I pray that it was the Spirit leading me and using my words to demonstrate what he wanted to tell people.

Friday at youth was a blast! The night was a "So You Think You Can Dance" event, and so all the Kaleos who go to New Life made an intro dance that we seriously whipped up in about ten minutes. We were all wearing sweet clothes and got everyone pumped up. Then we would go around to the different dance groups and help them come up with dances and then we would judge them at the end. It was so much fun! It was probably the event that I felt most involved. I felt that I was really needed for the success of the night and I enjoyed having this role in the evening. I can recall struggling with feeling involved and needed some nights at youth, and Friday was not one of those nights thankfully. It seems too that our energy and enthusiasm got all the other kids pumped up and even drew us together with some of the kids.

Saturday was an amazing day too. The sun was out and it was warm, which is a once a week type of event here. This resulted in no homework getting done, playing ultimate frisbee barefoot outside and a mudfight. Earlier that day, Justin and I had a great time sharing bible verses and thoughts while on a walk in my favourite place in the woods. I would like to share some of these verses as they really resonated with me, and maybe they will with you too.

Matthew 10:28 - Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul, but rather, fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Psalm 78:72 - So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart and he guided them with his skillful hands.

Isaiah 30:18 - So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God, blessed are those who wait on his help.

Sunday night was a great time as always at the homeless ministry. We tried listening more as we prayed. I felt some frustration as I did not hear anything from God about these people or the town of Duncan. I have always been frustrated about my ability to listen to God. I want more than anything to listen to God and not always be speaking and asking him for things, however I have hard times hearing him. I want to be hearing him loudly at the Olympics and being obedient to his call.

That is a quick update. Please don't forget to pray for our ministry trips! Can't wait to fill you all in when I get back.

Week Fiveteen

It is Monday night as I write this. We just came in from playing some pretty intense indoor soccer in Crofton with the Kaleos. This week was a relaxed week. It was the week after snowboarding at Mt. Washington and the week before our Intro to Theology class. We had Jim's camp ministry class for a couple days in there. Altogether, not too much has happened this week, other than doing an extensive amount of reading from our Christian Doctrine textbook. I can't count how many times I drifted into a sleep reading that book.

I just had a thought as I was writing this. I was thinking about on Monday night, a week ago today, where we had a worship night, and it was a time filled with prayer about unity. I had a flash back of first semester and many of the struggles that we had with being disunited. I truly am thankful and blessed by the people that I am in community with, especially the guys. I have a brotherhood with them.

Seriously though, this week was a good week, but not much happened. For me it was a time of reflecting on the events of last week, and I am still thinking about them. It was a week where I saw some answer to prayer, though not in a way that I expected at all. Several mornings this week I tried some lectio divina reading of Scripture, asking the Lord to reveal certain things to me that he wanted me learn. One morning, I felt like the Lord wanted me to realize who I was in relation to who he is. I asked the Lord then to humble me in whatever way possible. At the end of the day, I had been humbled, though, by my own faults. It was if I had humbled myself as a result of my shortcomings to obey the Lord. A strange thought, but wasn't that what I prayed for? The next time I read, I felt that the Lord wanted me to trust him about my future and next year. This is hard for me, but I am trying to do this. Its funny, because I have applied to a couple schools, completely open to anything now. I like this time now, because I have done everything that I can do to prepare for next year, now simply it is up to him to take care of me and reveal to me what his will is. Please be praying for me as I spend time with God, that he will constantly be speaking to me. Pray that he will constantly be humbling me, and that my trust in him will be growing exponentially.

On Friday, we had a youth event for all the youth groups of the Cowachin Valley held here at Qwanoes. This was a sweet event and it was so great to be in community with other kids and other leaders all under the same roof for the same goal. I really do like my youth group. I am becoming good friends with all the leaders, and I have solid friendships with the kids in the youth group, especially the grade eight guys. They are a blast! Several of them are actually going to Vancouver to perform on the streets during the Olympics as part of a drumming troupe. Pray for them and their outreach that they will be doing there. I find that when I go to youth group, I naturally get along with the outgoing kids who are engaging and I can relate to, but recently I have been trying to be more intentional about spending time with kids who do not seem to get any attention.

My favourite part of the week once again would be Sunday nights for our homeless ministry. As we were walking down the traintracks to the place that we normally meet people, we heard three teenage guys yelling at us from quite a distance. We ignored them and kept walking along, until they started cutting across the field over towards us. Finally as they were only a small distance away from us, we stopped and so did they. There was three of them and four of us, me, Justin and two girls. We prayed for a bit, and on the way, I was praying for boldness in our words and actions. Other nights, I have felt such a boldness in what we do, such as approaching loud voices that are coming from behind trees in the dark, or intruding on a private bonfire. I secretly was hoping for these guys to come over to us and we could talk to them. Actually, I wanted to keep walking and go up and meet these guys. But we stood there, and so did they until they went on their way and we kept going. After a while, I started thinking about what is the difference between boldness and foolishness? I appreciate the leadership that Justin displayed in that scenario. Maybe the situation would have been different if it was just me and him, and maybe if I wasn't a student under his care. I don't know. Even still, I don't want to live my life in fear or hesitation of stepping into the dangerous, exciting and challenging life that God calls us to live. Please, if you have any insight to offer me about what the difference is, tell me. I want to live with the spirit of power, love and self-discipline and not of the one of timidity, however, in no way do I want to be foolish in my actions. These are simply developing thoughts.

This week is our Introduction to Theology class. Please pray for me as I have always struggled with the idea of theology. Pray for pure understanding and interest too as I sit through these classes. More than anything, would this class encourage me and enable me to live more like Jesus.

Be praying for preparation for the Olympics for us. We leave on the 10th and want God to be moving, working and preparing us for the work that he has set aside for us long before then. Pray and hope for big things!

I will leave you with a quote that for some reason has been in my mind these past few minutes.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot.

Week Fourteen Pictures

Sweet powder days

Matt jumping off the balcony....

....into about 9 feet of snow

View from the top

Bo shredding the gnar

Justin, ripping it up

Backcountry rainbow rail we found

Boardslide

50-50

How can this compare to Blue Mountain?

Snowshoeing. So fun!

Jade, Caroline, Matthew, Tim and Nicole ready to drop in

Week Fourteen

This has been an incredible week. Thank you all for your prayers for us as we were at Mount Washington this week. I have seen some very real answers to prayer this week. But I will fill you in on that a bit later.

As you all know, I am from Ontario, which means that any snowboarding that I do is on a hill, make that lump. So this week, for the first time in my life did I snowboard on a mountain. It was such a blast! Five days of shredding the gnar with some of my best friends with fresh snow every day! I have never had so much fun snowboarding before in my life. There very few feelings as good as ripping through several feet of unridden snow in the backcountry, dodging trees and watching them fly past you as you catch air off jumps and drops. Besides the incredible snowboarding, the nights were great too. We would come back to a warm chalet at the bottom of the mountain that we could snowboard right to, and there was three hot tubs, cooks that came with us from camp and we would all pile into this warm house at the end of a long and tiring day. Seriously though, as great as the snowboarding was, the best part of the entire week would be the chapels that we had each night. At the beginning of the week, Jim warned us that the place that we were staying was sacred. It was a place where God did big things in the past and spoke loudly. I can see now that this is indeed true. This was a sacred place for us. On the first night that we had chapel, we all talked about where we could see Christ in others. This took a long time, because there was a lot to say, but everyone could see Christ in everyone and it was voiced. I felt a huge amount of unity and encouragement on that night. How crazy is it that Jesus Christ lives within us? The God of the universe dwells within me! I never want to loose this feeling of unworthiness/excitement and I want to be continually having myself living less and less and having Christ being shown more and more through everything that I do. Thank you Lord that you live in us. Please pray that I would be growing in the authority that I have been given through having Jesus live in me. If Jesus lives within me, I want to certainly be living with the authority and fullness that one would have with the incarnate God living within them. That was Monday. Tuesday was my favourite day of the week, since the snow was incredible and we had a great day of riding but also the chapel was the best one that we've had this year. Jim talked about how Jesus gave Simon a new name, Peter. He said that that name was out of character for Peter at the time, since this so called "Rock" was actually an impulsive, wavering, emotion filled boy. Sure the name Peter would have been an encouragement, but also, it was a huge sweater to fill. It was admonishment. That night, we were given new names too. Names that would encourage us where we were at, but also names that would push us and challenge us. I have prayed in the past that God would speak to me and glorify others and himself through the words that he spoke to me, and that is exactly what happened that night. I would be sitting there, and a word would randomly be put in my mind about a specific person and I knew that I would just have to say it. That was the Holy Spirit speaking to me, not for my own glory, but for the edification of the body of believers of Kaleo. When I would say a word, it was completely confirmed by several others that that was the same word that they were thinking or the same idea. For that reason, I know that God was speaking that night, and that it was not merely our own thoughts that gave each other names. God was giving us new names! My name is Shepherd. This is the name that God gave me and was confirmed by many others. To be completely honest, I welcome this name because I know that it is from God, but I am intimidated by it. Shepherd is a big role. Man, does this sweater feel big. I am encouraged in the present by this name of Shepherd, but I am indeed challenged to become more and more like the Shepherd that God has in mind for me to become. Jim said that it was a dangerous name, because it means pastor. I kinda wanted to walk away when I heard that. I do not want to be a pastor, at least not the pastor that I am familiar with. I think that my own preconceived ideas of what a pastor is and what a pastor isn't is clouding what "pastor" really means. I believe that I can be a pastor, without actually being a pastor, if that makes any sense. It is a dangerous name. Be praying for me please, that I would develop in every way into the Shepherd that God wants me to be. The cool thing about these names is that I often feel distant from knowing God's will for me. However through this name that God gave me, I feel that I have a little direction as to what God wants from me, and what I will be doing for God. Please pray for this too, as I am trying to think about where to go next year, that God will continue to affirm things in me, and continue to guide me. The next chapel we talked about things that we need to give up. The analogy was this, that after a long day of snowboarding, we are wearing old, wet, cold clothes. Jesus is standing in the warm chalet with toasty warm and dry clothes for us. So we lifted up to the Lord things in our life that we needed to shed. The thing is, is that it wasn't a time of sorrow and guilt in our confessions, but it was done with a very thankful and submissive spirit, since we were giving God things that were holding us back and taking hold of the things that were genuinely better for us in every way that we could imagine. I told God that I needed to shed my pride in order for me to become more like Christ, and that instead of pride, I needed to cloak myself with humility. I believe that every time we talk to God, we should come away changed. We should not remain the same after talking to the God of the universe. I felt a change in my heart even that night. Please be praying that God would be continuing to shed from me these wet clothes of pride that I cannot remove on my own and replace them with the warm clothes of humility. That is a little taste of the week. Pretty awesome eh? I didn't go to youth this week because we got back to late from Mount Washington to make it. Saturday was a good day, where I was supposed to be doing homework but the beautiful weather made it impossible to do so. I was down at the dock barefoot, in jeans and a t-shirt, and I felt warm. It was insane! Barefoot in January!? I thought about all of you back in Ontario shovelling snow. Can't say that I feel jealous at all. Later that day I went mountain biking up one of the local mountains with a girl from Kaleo who competes in bike races. I was glad I got the invite to go biking, but man was it intense. A complete hour of biking uphill. So worth it though. I had a great time hanging out with her too, considering that I never really hung out with her before. Also on Saturday, I randomly ran into Nathanael, a good friend that I have made just in the past couple of months, even though I have only met him three times. He is the one who I keep meeting on retreats. We talked and prayed for a while together in December, then by surprise we ran into each other again in Vancouver at Missionsfest and he prayed for me for a while there, then he was at Qwanoes on Saturday just for a visit. It is cool to see God setting up these encounters, definitely divinely orchestrated. He is such an encouragement. I got to tell him about the answers to things that he has prayed for me, and we took great joy in that. When I think of him, I think of the word authority. I can see that he has authority from Jesus. When he prays, he sees right through me, and prays about things that I have not brought up, and it seems when he prays, that things do happen. Thank you Lord for such a good friend that you have brought into my life at just the right times it seems. I will trust that you will keep these meetings coming.

This week is a homework week. A lot of assignments to do, and a huge book to read on Christian Doctrine. I'm not sure how I will get it all done. Pray that I do.

Please pray that God would be giving me his strength to be meeting with him in the mornings. Let me wake up even before my alarm goes off. Pray that the word of God would be bound to my heart, and that I would LIVE in the word. Please be praying that God would be preparing me for the Olympics - teaching me how to pray, how to listen. Please give thanks to God for all that he is doing here at Kaleo. He is melting hearts of stone!

This has been a long post, but it has been a significant week. I know that in many years when I think back on Kaleo, this will be one of them that stands out the most. Thanks for sharing in my week.

Week Thirteen

Hey. I am soo excited for tomorrow! We are going to Mount Washington for the week to shred the gnar (aka go snowboarding). We will be going snowshoeing and tubing too, along with sweet chill times in a chalet at the base of a mountain. Tough life I know. I know that this will be a great trip, but please pray for listening ears along with the times of craziness. Pray that God would use each of us and his nature and beauty to speak to each person at Kaleo in a specific, personal way. I am praying that this would be a time of great intimacy with our Father and great vulnerability with each other.

Well this week was of a slower pace. We had a camp ministry class taught by our very own Jim Badke on Tuesday and Thursday. Jim is a great guy in every aspect, as a leader, a teacher, a friend, so it was no hardship to listen to him those days. To be honest though, camp ministry is not something very close to my heart. I cannot say that I have a passion for camp ministry as much as I know it is great and love camp myself. On Monday we had a great chapel. We were sharing about our Christmases and I felt like I needed to share about my Grandpa who passed away on January 9th. I was filled with great joy even as I mourned for him, and was sad that I didn't make it to his funeral. I talked about his life, how he was a man after God's own heart, and he is the cause of many generation blessings for the Derksen family. At first I felt nothing but joy and happiness for Grandpa leaving this earth, but as soon as I started talking about him, I started to cry. It felt good. It was what I needed to fully and truly express how I felt. Though even as I wept, I was still filled with joy for him. But I do miss him a lot. Thank you all for your prayers for the family.

We have been watching snowboarding movies in order to get pumped for next week. I think they are working.

I finished reading a good book this week called Forgotten God. It's by Francis Chan and its about recognizing and stopping the neglect of the Holy Spirit. It has given me a lot to think about, such as, am I really surrendering everything over to God? Am I truly empty of myself so that he can fill me? How do I hear God and have intimacy with him daily? Am I still being glorified through my works or is Christ being glorified through ALL that I do? I do not know the answers to these questions. Pray for that God would develop in me the fullness of his Holy Spirit, so that Christ would be glorified and not me.

I have seen a cool answer to prayer as I look back on things. Over Christmas, I told God that I wanted to give Him the best part of my days, every day but I needed his strength to do that. He has helped me get up every morning, definitely NOT on my own strength. When I turn off my alarm subconsciously in my sleep, someone woke me up, and other times I would get up before my alarm woke me up. I know that this may seem insignificant, but I feel that it is good to recognize answers to prayer, no matter what they are. Now for another answer to prayer. This is the unfinished story that I hinted at on my last post. My good friend Nate's sister has cancer in her brain and this was shown on her MRI in November. It has a survival rate of 0% and I believe that she is the only one under a certain age (can't remember but fairly old) that has this rare type of cancer. She had another MRI in January and this has been a journey for all of us here at Kaleo, dedicated to prayer for this situation. We have learned to submit to the will of God and also to pray in faith and with boldness. The results came in from her MRI and it was a total answer to prayer. She is stable, and the cancer is still there, but the exact same as what it was in November, which is unheard of as this type of cancer spreads like wildfire. Praise God for this answer to prayer and please be praying with me for Katelyn (Nate's sister). Pray that God would fully heal her. Pray that God would make his name great, no matter what. I pray that through this we would develop hearts that trust in God and in his mercy, justice and his will, which as we know is good, pleasing and perfect.

This has been a trying week. I have had days of discouragement, days of sadness, days where I have been strongly convicted of sins (thank you Lord) and days of feeling sick. I have also experienced God's grace in the midst of this. I have had some great times with friends, have had great times soaking with the Lord in prayer. Please pray that I would have the ears to hear what God is teaching to me.

I went to youth group for the first time since before Christmas. To be honest, I feel useless there quite often. We had a meeting on Thursday night, and in one and a half hours, we accomplished absolutely nothing. The climax of our meeting was playing a game called "Ching Ching Chowie". I was glad that they included us as leaders for their leaders meeting, but I would have also been content to play soccer like we usually do on Thursdays. Friday night at youth we had "the hunger" a worship night. I enjoyed it a lot, but I wondered how many kids were there just to hang out, and how many kids wanted to meet God there and were just not being fed. I feel like they could place a greater emphasis on God throughout their normal youth weeks. The Hunger is great because it is a chance for these kids to be fed, and I pray that they are being fed. I also hope to have a greater role and responsibility with these kids, but maybe I am really just supposed to be there to love these kids and do that by hanging out with them and being closer to their level. I'm not sure.

Once again, I am blessed, and challenged by our homeless ministry. I didn't meet anyone but we did have a great time of prayer over an area that attracts many homeless people. We actually cleaned up their spot for them, building a firepit and cleaning up their garbage. I suppose that this was a practical way of bringing restoration to all of creation.

Thanks again for checking in. I love seeing God moving and working here. It's visible.

Week Twelve Pictures

This is what is roaming around my domain. There's not enough room for the two of us....

Week Twelve

Wow, it has been a while since I have been on here. A lot has happened, both here at camp this past week and over Christmas. I will give you a very brief overview of my Christmas break by saying that I spent much of the break being with family, which was very much needed after being away from them for several months. It was fairly quiet, easy going, did not get to see as many people as I thought I would, but was very content with the peacefulness of this Christmas. My goal this past Christmas was to have my focus solely on Jesus' entrance to this world, and try and be as excited about the coming Messiah as what the shepherds and wisemen would have been. I know that is pretty hard to do, but I felt much more understanding and excited about Christmas this year than I have ever felt before. Most Christmases I am excited because, well, it's Christmas and that means no school and presents, but this year, it was about Jesus bringing the kingdom of heaven to earth.

Though I was slightly hesitant to jump back into full speed at camp again, my fears quickly left me when I was ambushed in the airport by several familiar faces. I flew in on Sunday, and missed both a connecting flight to Nanaimo and church. It is a great feeling to miss church. Well, not being absent from church, but to know that there is a community of believers filled with great teaching, service, outreach, worship and fellowship that you just can't wait to get back to. That is definitely how I felt over Christmas. I really enjoy New Life and can't wait to get back there serving and attending. The more and more I think about it, the more I can see that this is the church that I was supposed to be at.

We jumped back into full speed quickly. On Monday we had our first class of this semester, called Theology of Missions taught by Tim Stabell, a professor at Briercrest but also a missionary in the Congo for fourteen years. This class grew on me over the week. It started off a bit slow I found, and I had a hard time finding relevance and significance early in the week, but I realized that it was all just foundation for things that we would learn later on. Missions really is at the core of God's heart, and I loved how this course was designed to help us understand better the heart that God has for this world. Tim was an amazing guy. He quickly gained my respect and he was gentle, bold, inviting and passionate. It was great for me to see a man who was so committed to the Great Commission and really believed it to be true. I am coming away with changed thoughts about missions. We spent this whole week thinking about missions. We went to MissionsFest in Vancouver this weekend and listened to passionate speakers talk about justice and perserverance. After this week, I am coming away incredibly curious as to where God is going to take me. I am desiring to bring justice for those who live under oppression and see the huge need for that. I also see a huge need to communicate the gospel to those who have either never heard it before or to take it into the places where people are afraid to take it, be it a hostile jungle or a dangerous ghetto. I am certainly open to whatever God has in store for me, but I just want it to be big. I want to be an extremely bright and powerful servant of God who is actively bring the kingdom of heaven to earth in big, bold ways. I would appreciate prayer for me know that God would be guiding me and that I would be able to hear what he is speaking to me in terms of direction for next year. University, bible school, missions? All of these are just thoughts right now with no strong leading in any direction. Pray for guidance please. Something cool that happened over the conference was that a friend of mine who I had recently met prayed for me after a session, and one thing that he felt that God was saying to him about me was that I had hands strong enough to bend a bow of iron. I don't really know what this means, but want to know. I found that interesting and am excited to see how that will play out in my life. On Saturday, Justin, James and I went down to East Hastings area in Vancouver, the poorest location in all of Canada. This place was a ghetto, full of drug addicts, alcoholics and homeless people. We found our way into a community building and enjoyed many good conversations with everyone from drug addicts, homeless musicians, and people who were involved in town council. I do feel like I have a big spot in my heart for these incredibly poor and broken people. An interesting fact I learned in the downtown east side is that men, aged 18-25 are the most common people to be kidnapped believe it or not, because people kill them and then sell their organs (not sure where, black market???) for top dollar. Someone can make $100 000 off of a male body. Pretty scary, and as I looked on the community bullitin board, most of the missing posters were of grown men. Times sure are changing.

I am realizing that I am very much a baby in many ways. One of my goals this year was to be able to hear God speak to me. Just like a baby does not know how to walk though and must learn, so I believe that I must learn how to hear God, and it starts with just trying. On Thursday morning, many of the guys woke up early and went down to the dock to listen to God, let him help shape our vision of this year, lift up our own hopes and aspirations of this next semester to him, and just pray together. As we spent time in quiet listening to God, I had a hard time listening. I did not come away hearing anything, but I am not discouraged, more motivated to take time to listen to God. I love these people even more than last semester, which is hard to imagine. I do feel that we have bonded as a greater community over the break.

This week we had a cougar encounter (you'll love this mom). Two girls were walking back from the gym at night and saw a cougar crouching in the woods. They looked at each other (animal to girls) then the girls came back to camp and the cougar followed them the entire way. It was spotted close to the dorms later than night. Kinda freaky, but all the guys grabbed lights and weapons and tried to go hunting, but were not permitted. Maybe we'll get another chance.

Please be praying for God to teach me to listen and to be patient with me while I learn. I don't really know what this semester looks like, I'm intimidated with the school work and don't want to neglect important aspects of my life this semester but have a good balance of everything I do. Pray for continued depth and growth with my brothers and sisters here. Pray that God will prepare us for the Olympics (we are volunteering there for our missions trip). Pray that God would teach us how to pray, since this trips is mostly a prayer trip. I'm learning a lot about faith too, about praying in faith and power of prayer. I will fill you in on this next week. There is a story that is not finished yet.

I need to go to bed, but I hope that you have a good insight to this first week back in "the greenhouse". Thank you for your prayer and support.